Advertisment: Come to the MCUC Bar!!

Come to MCUC's! MCUC's Rocks out 24 hours a day. Any time during the day, evening, night, or morning! MCUC's is the place.

For mad Fusion Australian Food, MCUC's.
For Cheeky homebrewed Cider, MCUC's.
For Sessions of cheap-ass Australian, Cab-Merlot, MCUC's.
For "Buckles" of Chinese Rice Vodka, MCUC's.
For playing lots of rad computergames, MCUC's.
For reading interesting books, MCUC's
For talking absolute shit with MCUC, MCUC's

MCUC's is also the only bar that serves the "Chung Lee, Wing Chung Dragon Punch" Packs a wallop that is UNBLOCKABLE.

Or, the "Chung Lee, Wing Chungtini"

Meet "Chung Lee". (My house-mate's girlfriend; Doria.)

So if you want to hang out with a completely psychotic, weirdo, loner; just come on down to Collingwood in the old Collingwood brewery/distillery building behind the Porsche building. If MCUC's not home he's probably at the "Prince Patrick" having a soda-water and talking shit. Or at Gin Palace drinking rye and talking shit. Or at Blue Diamond talking shit and throwing things at Aiden (Hi Aiden!)

MCUC's. Twenty-four hours a day, Seven days a week, Three-six-five and one quarter per annum.

Also for employment opportunities check our website:

http://www.melbournecultureuc.blogspot.com/

The work is easy but the pay is admittedly shit ($0.00ph before tax.).

Street-arts in Melbourne

The Melbourne CBD has, in the last 10 years, exploded, peppering the CBD and its surrounds with the colours and sounds a plethora of visual and musical street art.

The graffiti and stencil-art on the walls, the Council sanctioned paintings and cartoons of the Citylights project, the urban-sculpture, the idiots who cover themselves in metallic paint and pretend that they are statues, the buskers with full synthesizer kit on Fridays, the bongo-drummers on Sundays, regular buskers with guitars during the week, the street-opera, the street string-quartets, the contemporary-dancers, the break-dancers, the Parkour-artists and other kung-fu practitioners, the culture-jammers, all a grand milieu of sound and colour and movement.

Recently wandering the CBD on a sunny Saturday afternoon I came across a shipping container on Birrung-Marr. Within were about 30 people listening to a gentleman talk about clouds. I sat down in the back row for about thirty seconds and then asked a young lady next to me what the fuck this was.

"Fifteen-minute lectures" she stated and showed me a pamphlet. Satisfied I left, grinning inanely at the randomness of this. I was ecstatic just for the fact that this sort of thing existed. This city provides me with wonder upon wonder, to the point that I am constantly distracted and never get what I should be doing done.

I keep missing actual planned events for the annual Fringe Festival but it doesn't seem to matter. Melbourne is a constantly moving and changing fringe festival. Every second week there seems to be some sort of culture-jam. Whether it might be processions of zombies, pirates or "Cos"-players or a dance routine on the Flinders St Station Concourse.

So what grabbed my attention this week?

A Citylights exhibition. These are backlit pieces of pop art that are put up around Melbourne's back-alleyways. I don't know whose art this is but here you go.

Weapons of Choice

1) Bar Spoon
2) Citrus Squeezer
3) Knives (Would personally prefer a snub-ended chefs knife.)
4) Zester
5) Cork-screw
6) Muddler
7) Pourers
8) Absinthe Spoons
9) Hawthorn Stainer
10) Sieve (For double-straining.)
11) Boston Shaker

Street Fighter II Cocktails #5: Zangeif's Bloody Mariska

Ingredients

  6 cups water
  3/4 tablespoon salt
  1/2 cup finely chopped carrots
  1/4 cup chopped green bell pepper, divided
  1/2 stalk celery, chopped
  1 medium beet
  1/2 cup canned peeled and diced tomatoes
  3 potatoes, quartered
  1/3 cup butter
  1/2 cup chopped onion
  1 1/2 cups canned tomatoes
  3 cups finely shredded cabbage, divided
  1/4 cup heavy cream
  3/4 cup diced potatoes
  1 tablespoon dried dill weed
  1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper to taste
  salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

  1 Bottle of Russian Standard Vodka

Serves: 4 - 6 People


Glass: Solid wooden bowl. 

Place water, salt, carrots, 1/2 of the bell pepper, celery, beet, tomatoes, and quartered potatoes in a large stock pot over high heat. Bring to a boil. 

Melt 1/3 cup butter in a separate skillet over medium heat. Saute onions in butter until tender, approximately 5 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, reduce heat to medium low, and simmer for 15 minutes. 

Remove 1/2 cup of sauce from skillet, and set aside. Stir half of the cabbage into the skillet with remaining sauce, and continue simmering 5 minutes more, or until tender.

Remove beet from boiling liquid and discard. Remove potatoes with a slotted spoon or tongs, and place in a bowl with remaining 1 tablespoon of butter and the cream. Mash together until smooth.

Return the 1/2 cup of reserved onion-tomato sauce to the stock pot. Stir in diced potatoes, and simmer until just tender but still firm, approximately 5 minutes. Increase heat to a low boil, and stir in remaining cabbage, tomato sauce, and mashed potatoes. Reduce heat and simmer a few minutes more. Stir in remaining bell pepper, season with black pepper.

Pour in bottle of vodka, garnish with sour cream and serve.

Rooftop bars in melbourne

There are a multitude of different venues in the Melbourne CBD that run rooftop and courtyard bars. 

To list a few examples there are 

• Rooftop Bar and Cinema, @ Curtain House, Level 6, 252 Swanston Street.

• Section 8 Container Bar, @ 27-29 Tattersalls Lane.

• Transit Lounge, @ Transport Hotel Complex, Level 3, Federation Square

• Blue Diamond[1], @ Level 15, 123 Queen St 

• Riverland Bar and Café, @ Federation Wharf, St Kilda Road Melbourne

•  The Order of Melbourne, @ Level 2, 401 Swanston Street.
 

 

These venues started popping up about the time that the Victorian State Labour Government banned smoking in all non “open to the air” licensed venues (Apart from the Casino of course. But then the state government’s money has to come from somewhere doesn’t it?)

Anyways….

There is a company that seems to specialise in setting up bars that provide this experience.

Chalker Enterprises.

Chalker Enterprises. Pty. Ltd owns many fine boozing parlours such as Gin Palace[2], Madam Brussels[3], Collins Quarter[4]. They also had a hand in ‘The Order’ for a bit but I believe that relationship has ended. 

Now I did a brief stint with Chalker and they were awesome. I wish that the relationship could have lasted longer but I was stressed and really needed a holiday. (MCUC hasn’t had a holiday in about six years.) Unfortunately I was broke and need work so to Chalker I came calling. 

Now the place I wanted to work was Collins Quarter. Collins quarter is a combination café, pub, restaurant, cocktail-bar and cigar lounge (Not that they’re going overboard or anything.). It situated at the “top end” of Collins Street and caters to the general milieu of bankers, lawyers, and politicians that find this area as their natural habitat. 

Now a lot of hospitality staff consider these sorts of customers to be, in a word, cunts[5]. I will admit that they are hard to deal with. Essentially they are law, liberal arts and commerce students that are finally earning heaps of money and now think they form “Regency of the Universe”; possibly because they actually do.

But I personally don’t think they’re that hard to please. All you have to do is give them everything that they want and then politely ask them to pay for it. And because they have the money they actually do.

The food at the order looks and smells and tastes amazing. It's directed to the raging carnivore that burns inside all of us that actually want muscle tone and that wonderful feeling of being packed with delecious, roasted meat. The down-side to this is that the pub, cocktail bar and cigar lounge feel a bit ancilliary, like they're tacked on. Collins has one great product (The food.) and a range of good products, (Beer, wine, cocktails and cigars.) and these seem a little neglected. The only people who really get involved are hospitality industry types who know that these things are there (See foot-notes for reference to hospitality types.) and any of the aformentioned lawyers, bankers, politicians that have predilictions for these fine things.

I did one shift at Collins and unfortunately there was fuck all to do. Everything I could do for them was being done by somebody else and it left me a bit idle. (Which I don’t mind as long as I get paid, but anyway.) 

So they sent me packing to The Order of Melbourne.

The Order is situated opposite RMIT in the Melbourne CBD and thus caters to students, academics and for some reason, lots of cute, arty women also with lots of tattoos and the attached, big, burly dudes with lots of tattoos.

This may have something to do with fact that the place specialises in putting on shows. (Quirky fashion catwalks, burlesque, 1950s Pin-Up Girl competitions, music, comedy etc, etc…). So much fun. “Es ist like Berlin in the zee 30s ja? Zo many interezting thingz....”. 

So I got sent to work in a caberet theatre. Now will just say this: I love caberet. I love going to shows, meeting the people, hanging out, drinking interesting drinks and occasionally cheering the stage…..

Not while I’m working!

Not while I’m stressed!

It makes me jumpy and unfortunately when I get jumpy I snap at people. Not good when one is a service professional. Also I’m a complete insomniac from years of working in clubs and it’s something I'd really like to fix so when I say I want restaurant work don’t, DO NOT! send me to work in a nightclub. Jerks.

So anyways, long story short, ‘The Order’ and I did not work out. Pity. It’s a good company and they pay their very lovely bartenders very well. I would point out flaws but that would be nitpicking (A bad habit of mine.).

5 shots of whiskey for Chalker Enterprises. Great company with many fine establishments in its holster. Long may it prosper.

1) Not really outdoors I know but it is the top level of a skyscraper does have a massive balcony. The view is incredible. 

2) Not rooftop bar. As far as I know  anyway. Maybe they’re hiding something.

3) A preppy, summer sports themed, roof-top garden.

4) A watering hole and restaurant for lawyers, politicians and other miscellaneous scum from the top end of Collins

5) Most hospo kids would like to serve musicians, artists and other hospo kids all day long. This is stupid because these people have no money and thus often can’t pay. (Myself included.)

Street Fighter II Cocktails #4: Cammy's Hooligan Combination. A Sazerac.

Ingredients:

   30mL Laphroig 10 Year Old
   30mL Good Blended Scotch Whiskey
   15mL Punt e Mes
   Pinch of white pepper
   Dash of tabasco
   Absinthe Spray

Glass: Double Old Fashioned

Spray glass with Absinthe. Stir all other ingredients over ice and strain into glass.

Garnish: None.
   

Product Placement: Jim Beam in a Can

I am a footy fan.

And I like Jim Beam in a Can.

It makes me feel like a big man.

When I drink it on the tram.

Disclaimer: 

Jim Beam in no way endorses the drinking of its products on trams or in any other area where alcohol consumption is prohibited.


Please drink responsibly.